This is ridonkulously simple, but I’ve never made teriyaki before so I figured I’d share last night’s adventure into the world of Asian cooking.


It was actually pretty dang great. We still have a bunch left in the fridge and I even got over my disdain for eating leftovers for lunch today.


3 small chicken breasts

Sesame oil

Tamari sauce

Rice wine vinegar, red wine vinegar, or lime juice

Brown sugar

2 small red onions

Brown rice

See our set table in the background?

See our set table in the background?

Step 1: Make your boyfriend cube the raw chicken because you’re too squeamish to touch it. Also make him start the brown rice in the rice cooker because you don’t know how to use it.

Step 2: Dice the onions and begin to sautee them in a pan with some sesame oil.

Step 3: In a pie dish, combine 1 part sesame oil to two parts Tamari sauce,  a splash of the vinegar/lime juice, and some brown sugar…I think I probably put about a two tablespoons of it but I can’t be sure. Just make sure that you make enough to coat all of the raw chicken (and have some left over to pour into the pan when you begin to cook the chicken).

Step 4: Oh! I forgot! I also had garlic in with the onions! But that’s optional. Once the onions start to look friggin awesome, dump everything that’s in the pie dish – including the sauce – into the pan.

Step 5: When your boyfriend’s not looking, add another good glurg of delicious sesame oil, but then he’ll catch you and yell at you about how he wants to be healthy and not eat so much fat. Tell him that you needed to cut the Tamari flavor a bit. Then he’ll tell you that he would rather you add brown sugar to cut the Tamari flavor, to which you’ll reply that a glurg of sesame oil isn’t nearly as bad for you as extra sugar. He’ll say (without once ironically glancing down at his 6’4″, 168-pound Adonis-like body) the he’d like to eat more sugar over more fat ANY day.

Step 6: Magnanimously apologize.

Step 7: When the chicken is cooked through, serve it over the brown rice. When your boyfriend starts saying “Mmmmm this is soooo goooooood,” say “See? Aren’t you glad I added the sesame oil?”

Step 8: Feel guilty because he’ll agree with you and be very sweet and apologetic about his backseat cooking, and now you look like a crabby, score-keeping housewife.


Poor Dave. He’s so nice to me.